Next to your decision to take Jesus Christ as your Savior, the most important decision you can make is the choice of a life partner.

Some people prefer not to marry. That is certainly an acceptable choice, but most people choose to marry.

Getting married is easy. Having a happy and successful marriage is not easy. You do not just “luck” into it. There are some definite things you can do that will greatly improve your chances of having a successful marriage. Here are five things:

  1. Understand Biblical marriage.
  2. Become the “right” person.
  3. Look to God to give you the right mate.
  4. Choose wisely.
  5. Seek God’s blessing on your engagement.

Understand Biblical Marriage

Marriage is one of the most important events in any person’s life. It marks the entrance into a whole new way of life as two people blend their lives into one.

Biblical marriage is a lifetime commitment. It is a serious thing for a man and woman to solemnly vow before God and families and friends that they will love and cherish each other until death parts them.

Wedding couple saying their marriage vows

God takes vows seriously. God says: “When you make a vow, you must keep it.” God has no pleasure in those who make vows and break them. In His word, God says, “I hate divorce...” (Malachi 2:16).

You will take a big step toward a successful marriage if both of you agree that marriage is for life and that divorce is not an option for you. Jesus said,

“…What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matthew 19:6).

There will be problems in any marriage, but there is a big advantage when both husband and wife know that they are committed to each other for life. It provides a security and freedom in which they can work out their problems without the threat of divorce. The word “divorce” should NEVER be used as a weapon in an argument.

Number 2

Become the "right" person

Most young people spend a lot of time wondering if they will ever find the right person to marry. This is important, but it takes two “right” people to make a happy marriage.

It is just as important for you to become the right person as it is for you to find the right person. Here are some things that you can do to prepare yourself for marriage:

  • Establish a personal relationship with God.

If you are not a Christian, the most important thing you can do to prepare yourself for marriage is to establish a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ. When you become a Christian, God’s Holy Spirit comes to live in you. The Bible says, “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, self control” (Galatians 5:22-23). These are the qualities that make a home a little bit of heaven on earth.

nurture a daily personal relationship with Christ

You may be a Christian, but do you have a daily personal relationship with Christ? Do you read God’s Word each day? Are you growing in the Lord? Are you faithful in your local church?

If you truly love the Lord and delight yourself in Him, He will give you the desires of your heart. The Bible says,

“Delight yourself also in the Lord; and He shall give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4).

  • Learn unselfish love.

A big part of “becoming marriageable” is learning unselfish love. As we have said, God has given us our home as the best place in which to learn this kind of love. You may think that those in your family are hard to get along with, but this is the very place for you to learn the unselfish, sacrificial love that is so necessary to a happy home. So begin now to thank the Lord for putting you where you are.

  • Learn to be happy as a single person.
If you are not content as a single person, you will not be content as a married person.

It is natural and normal for a young person to long for a mate, but you need to learn to be content as a single person. Every young person needs to know that marriage is NOT the answer to a single person’s loneliness. If you do not learn to be content as a single person, you will not be content as a married person.

Millions of people who are married are still lonely and unsatisfied. They sought love and fulfillment from another person and were disappointed.

God wants you to learn to be content as a single person. To rush into marriage with the wrong person because you are panicking at the thought of being single the rest of your life is one of the most tragic mistakes that you can ever make.

The secret of being content is knowing God’s love. His love can fully satisfy you. Set your affections on Him. Love Him with all your heart. Read Psalm 91, especially the last three verses, and see what God promises to do for the person who sets his love on Him.

If God sees that you need a mate, He will provide the right one at the right time
Number 3

Look to God to give you the right mate

If you are a Christian, God is far more concerned about whom you marry than you are. In His Word, God says that the very hairs of your head are numbered! If God cares enough about you to keep up with the exact number of hairs you have on your head, you can be sure that He is concerned about whom you will marry.

Marriage is serious business—it is a lifetime commitment. God knows how important marriage is. He knows that marrying the wrong person can ruin your life.

If it is God’s will for you to be married, God has the right person for you. But God does not automatically cause you to marry the right person.

A Christian may become infatuated with the wrong person just like anybody else. Often, because the Christian wants to marry this person, he or she can see all kinds of wonderful “signs” that God is leading them to marry. He forgets that Satan is a great matchmaker! Satan loves to arrange circumstances that cause a believer to marry the wrong person.