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(Text written and copyrighted © 2002 by Manfred Koehler. (Note: Scripture reference will appear when you hover your mouse over it) “This is where I need to be,” she said, arms unraveling, voice thick. "Never been kissed before?" A shaking thumb wiped moist lips. "A few times." He started the car and flicked on the air, city glitter dim through the foggy windshield. "By my mother." Throaty laughter. He cringed, face burning. She drew two hearts on the moist glass. He swallowed, folded sweating hands, stared at swaying keys. Suddenly, with a twist of leg and hip, she lay across his lap. Eyes were lost in shadow, but the moon touched her chin, her neck, her double-hearted locket. Hands pulled on his arms. "Okay, you big, gorgeous dream. Take me." The air conditioner purred. The keys stopped swaying. Gently, firmly, he pushed her back into her own seat. Deaf to a hundred protests, he took her. Home, where she needed to be. Reality CheckIn real life, it rarely happens that way. When the hormones boil, all reason usually evaporates—just like in the movies. Maybe you've been there, maybe you haven't. Maybe this is a sizzling, current issue for you. Maybe it leaves you stone cold—a vague possibility you're almost convinced will never come to pass. Whatever your state, don't consider yourself above temptation. It's worth the time to draw a firm line. Lay it down in writing, out loud, face-to-face—whatever, just make the line clear—before those eyes twinkle, those two hands touch. Sticking to the LineYou'll need help if you're going to draw the line and make your decision stick. Spend some time meditating on the following biblical warnings. They may save you a world of hurt.
Learn to recognize the absence of that peace: the racing heart, the short breath, the pumping hormones. If your passions become unleashed so that your heart knows no peace, you've gone too far. When that tender little goodnight kiss turns into something that has you both groping, step way back and draw a different line. Run from whatever it is that robs you of your peace.
Learn to appreciate places where temptation has a hard time lurking. And understand that your reputation is easily tainted, even if your purity is maintained. If the gang disappears, leaving the two of you alone in your dorm room over a half box of pizza, grab the box and get out of there. You may think everything is cool; someone else wandering in may decide otherwise.
"Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her" (2 Samuel 13:15). Read the entire chapter and get the whole sordid story.
You'll have even less control over your partner's reactions. There's no predicting the bitter morning after the night before. Make no mistake: With one kiss too many, you could kiss your love good-bye.
"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body" (1 Corinthians 6:18). Sex outside of marriage will hurt both you and your partner as no other sin can. If you lose your wallet, you can replace its contents. If you lose your virginity to a premarital encounter, you've lost part of your soul. If you keep pursuing illicit sex, you could lose your health. Sex outside of God's design is a good thing gone bad.
And once you buy it, hang on tight. Truth disobeyed in one hot encounter is sold for a mere pittance. But like the gift of virginity, truth obeyed knows no price.
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"Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart" (2 Timothy 2:22). Pursuing peace is important if you truly want purity. When your heart takes its first step toward illicit sex, God's peace will vanish.
"Abstain from all appearance of evil" (1 Thessalonians 5:22, KJV). Before you crawl into that dark, cozy den, examine your motives for "needing to be alone." Realize that you can enjoy privacy in the center of a busy park.
Then understand this: The emotions that accompany sexual sin are like Mount St. Helens. You have no idea what direction things will blow, even in your own heart. What "felt so right" can go horribly wrong. Guilt and self-disgust have an ugly tendency to twist, pointing fingers at the one you claimed to cherish.
"Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction" (Galatians 6:7-8). There's no getting around it: Somehow, some way, sexual compromise will destroy something very precious to you. The principle of reaping what you sow is one hard, fast, ironclad law. You're no exception. You touch something you shouldn't touch before that wedding day, you'll regret it for life. That's true even if you end up marrying that person. The fleeting pleasure of sin now is not worth the scars of disrespect and distrust that come later.
"Buy the truth and do not sell it; get wisdom, discipline and understanding" (Proverbs 23:23). If you're convinced that sex before marriage is wrong, do you find yourself waffling in the gray areas? Think you can scoop fire into your lap without burning your clothes (|
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